When u lose someone, someone u love. When they break ur heart. It's the hardest thing u could ever go through & no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but then u get a flashback or hear a song that reminds u of a memory & it hits u all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time & u feel like u just want to crawl under a rock & never come out. You love this person with all of ur heart, even though u know u shouldn't. They hurt u worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole ur heart, stole ur happiness, but yet, u still want them & only them. Other people come along & give chances to move on, but u know u don't want to. It upsets u that u might be moving on, because u promised u never would & even if they broke all their promises, u want to keep yours. On top of that, you're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking about the person who has left u completely broken. U don't want to miss them anymore, u don't want to love them anymore,but u know YOU ALWAYS WILL. true? :)
Sometimes, I'm mad at myself. I'm mad for always being nice. always apologizing for things i didn't do, for getting attached, for making u my life, depending on u, wasting my time on u, thinking about u, forgiving u, wishing for u, dreaming of u.But most of all, for not hating u,which i know i should.But... i just can't.DAMN ! :(
It's the little things he do, that mean the most to me. I know, he will never think of me the way i think of him & that kills me everyday. Sometimes i wish i could hurt him the way he hurt me, but i know if i had the chance to. i wouldn't. I dont know what's worse. missing he or knowing that he don't miss me. erggghhh! I was never supposed to fall so hard & he were never supposed to mean this much to me. He just leave me! What hurts the most is how he made it look so easy.
Dear brain. Dear heart, I know he's all u think about but i think we need to move on! :) Ain ! keep holding on & keep smiling. it's amazing what u can hide just by putting on a smile. Throughout my life. i've loved, i've lied, i've hurt, i've lost, i've missed, i've trusted, i've made mistakes. But most of all, i've learned. :D
Hidup mesti diteruskan walaupun terlalu banyak dugaan. Pengalaman yg menyakitkan mengajar kita untuk menjadi seseorang yg lebih kuat dan tabah. Apa apa pun yg terjadi pastikan bibir anda sentiasa mengukir senyuman! :)
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